Things to know before you go.....and get murdered

Ok, so I'm a little late on Annie Le's tragic murder, but I don't think it’s sensitive to write about that. What I'm more interested in is the insight her story provides, and what it tells us about our country. Others have commented on the huge disparity in news coverage between white women and women of color who go missing, and look at Le’s case as an exception, rather than the rule when it comes to missing women of color. You all remember that one black women that went missing last year right? Or the one Latina women who disappeared 4 months ago in LA? Or that other Asian women who no one has seen in over 3 years. Ok I don’t remember either, and it's not because there aren’t missing Asian, black and Latina women out there, it’s because the media, well just doesn’t seem to give a damn.

The media may not care about all you non-white missing women, but I do, so I'm unselfishly offering some sound advice to women before you go and get murdered. One of the most important, and I stress IMPORTANT ways to ensure media coverage of your murder, is to make sure you're white. Preferably WASPY- Scandinavian white, blonde hair blue eyes. This creates the best fodder for the media, and your murder will surely create a frenzy, increasing the likelihood that your murderer will be caught. And to all my Mediterranean looking sisters out there don't lose hope; the media still cares about you. Lacy Peterson: case in point. Now if you’re not lucky enough to be white when you're murdered, there are some things that will trump your race and get you the media attention you deserve. We've seen this work quite well with other murdered/missing women of color, and that is having the right pedigree. You need to be at least upper middle class and attend an Ivy League institution, or at least a tier one school. It also doesn’t hurt to be incredibly attractive. No one wants their Oprah interrupted by a breaking news alert with some homely looking women. Make it worth the interruption!

Finally if you get murdered or disappear and lack all the above mentioned qualities there is one last hope to get you that all important media coverage. This works for women of all colors, but works particularly well for women of northern European extract oddly enough. That is women, to make sure your murderer is a physically imposing black man. The more imposing the better. He should be at least 6' and should be at least 3/4 of his height in width. Another important characteristic to look for in your murderer is that he has an ethnic sounding name. The names that garner the most attention are usually Muslim ones, often names taken after a quick stint in prison. Also if you're able to, make sure that your murderer has some funky hairstyle. Ideally locks work best, but unkept afros will suffice. If you can manage to get murdered by a guy fitting this description you've increased your chances of at least Fox News covering your case. Good Luck!